I hope no one reads this…

…I’m talking about Rod Blagojevich’s memoirs, entitled “The Governor.”  (I already know how many people read this blog — very few — which is fine with me because it leaves me free to say whatever I goddamn well please without worrying about yet another wingnut chasing me all over the Internet.)

No, I haven’t read it — the book  I mean — and I won’t because I refuse to buy it.  I won’t check it out of the library, either.    Won’t have to.  Why not?  Because the Chicago newspapers are already ripping it to shreds — every barf-bag word of it.  And apparently there’s quite a lot of barf between the covers.

We already knew from the time between his arrest and his impeachment that this guy had some serious delusional stuff going on, that he was comparing himself to Martin Luther King and Gandhi and even Jesus Christ. 

He also repeatedly declared his love for the people of Illinois.  I can say, as one of the people of Illinois, that the love was not returned by anyone living here legally.  Toward the end his approval ratings were almost in negative numbers, something I’ve never seen any politician accomplish before no matter how hard they tried, or rather, didn’t.  I wrote about this back in January:

Like I said, we’re not even sure what Blags is blathering about. I keep hearing things that sound like, “I am doing this for the people of Illinois.”

If that’s the case, here’s a message for Blags: Oh, thanks. Having you do it all for us is like having a car thief pull your Mercedes out of a ditch. The people of Illinois don’t want you, Rod. You’ve got a nearly 0% approval rating. That’s amazing. I’ve never heard of anything like that before. Even George Bush managed to hang on to about 20% of the delusionals in spite of the fact that he ignored warnings of a terrorist attack, started two hopeless wars, tortured prisoners, left a city in ruins, and finally sacked the global economy (the list goes on, but this article is not about Bush). All you’ve done, Gov, is be your obnoxious self and run the state into the poor house while cementing the notion that its name is synonymous with “corruption.” Nothing much in comparison to Bush’s accomplishments, but lookee — no one likes you. No one. You don’t even have George Bush’s 20% die-hard wingnut cushion against total anonymity. So stop being so nice to us, will you? Please?

What I said then still stands now.

Anyway, then Blags got a book deal, the proceeds of which were apparently not enough to pay off his legal bills, which sent him and his wife down the reality-TV/Elvis impersonator road.  You know, life beneath the D list.  The bottom below the bottom. 

As I remember, I wondered about this book.  He was saying back then that he was going to spill the beans on all those nasty people who were in with him on those nasty things he kept (not) doing for the love of Illinois.  I was wondering, if he were so innocent of any wrongdoing, how there could be any beans to spill.

Apparently that question has not been answered.  Blags still insists he’s as innocent as the Virgin Mary.  He probably thinks he is her as well.  So there’s no bean-spilling here; apparently there is only some schoolyard taunting.  Damn.  There goes any value the book may have had.

And because of this, all that’s become apparent to me in reading these advance book burnings is that we’re dealing with someone who has some serious, serious reality issues.  If he were a Republican, I expect that would not bar him from public office.  After all, there is no shame that can’t be overcome by shouting “pro-life!”   Doubt it?  Look at Sarah Palin, Blagojevich’s closest Republican counterpart.  Everything we hear about her just makes her seem weirder and weirder, which is pretty bad because she seemed weird to a lot of people to start with.  By all rights she should have reached the sub-basement a long time before Blags did, but yet she still has her true believers and Fox News still tries to hint that she can be President in 2012. 

Not so for Blags, who is a Democrat, which means he is really and truly finished as a politician and any dreams he ever entertained of living in the White House are gone for this lifetime.  It’s all his fault; there is no one else to blame, there is no Democratic equivalent of Fox News, and there is no hardcore group of salivating muttonheads for him to fall back on. 

And that’s just fine with me.  Enough, already.  If there is one conclusion to be drawn from this, it is that the people of Illinois have earned some peace.  Long may we enjoy it.

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