North to Alaska

As everyone knows, the U.S. has been holding Al Qaeda and other terrorist types in a prison in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba for quite some time now.

I wish to pause here and point out that Obama did not start this problem; Bush did.  But Obama is stuck with it.  Why?  Because the Bush administration had these nutflakes arrested, but had no idea what to do with them once they had been arrested, tortured, and interrogated.  Yes, there was some talk of military tribunals, but that was pretty iffy in terms of legality —  and so the problem was left for the next administration to figure out.

While the goon squad was in Cuba, they were no threat to the rest of us here in the U.S., and few were concerned.  But now for some reason they may be relocated to northwest Illinois.

Northwest Illinois is a tourist/agricultural area.  It is outstandingly beautiful — hilly and pastoral; miles upon miles of peace, and the Mississippi River to boot.  It contains some of the most expensive real estate and even has the closest thing to a mountain that exists in Illinois.

And they want to sully it with this goon squad of former human beings who have been so brainwashed that their only purpose is to keep taking up space and sucking up air so they can to kill someone else.  I have to also mention that religion plays a strong part in this, since apparently these are all religiously brainwashed nutcases.

The fact is, nobody wants these idiots, and we sure don’t want them here because we’ll only turn into a target for more idiots.  What idiots?  The idiots among us — our own “all American” Christian idiots, as well as (possibly) the idiots running around loose all over the world, no matter what their religion.  Overall it’s a ghastly idea.  But I have a solution.  Read on.

Russia used to have a great natural prison for its own unwanted.  In fact, long before my parents were born, two of my great-uncles apparently ended up there after fighting on the wrong side during the Bolshevik Revolution and were never heard from again. 

The place is called Siberia.

We have something similar to it in the U.S.  It’s called Alaska.  That’s where Sarah Palin lives when she’s not out taking cheap shots at the teenage father of her grandchild while on her “book tour.”  (Gee, Sarah, if you’re praying for Levi, you must be taking out masses for Carrie…oh, wait…you’re not a Catholic, but you are a religious fanatic.)

All things considered,  I think the vast, frigid, isolated, relatively unpopulated far northern region of Alaska is probably the best place for this bunch.  What with ol’ Sarah and her hyper-religious cronies in the same state — that is, if she still has any cronies after everyone gets through reading that book of hers — they ought to feel right at home.  And all this sort in Alaska should welcome them; after all, ultimately they are a gift from their hero, George Bush.  All anyone needs to do is change “Jesus” to “Mohammed” and the goon squad will think they’re back in the Middle East during an extreme cold snap.

Whatduyuh think, Obama?  *wink*

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