HA HA HA!!!!

Just thought you deserved a laugh, since I’ve been short of them lately:

Keith Olbermann

P.S. my ill relative has passed away and I will be taking a long break from this blog to spend time offering support to another relative who has been hard-hit by this event.  See you probably in late July or August.

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Serious Deficiencies

To quote a GOP Senator, Elena Kagan has “serious deficiencies,” so much so that he may have to spend days reading the New York City phone book to the Senate to block her approval.

Okay honey, let’s talk about serious deficiencies.

I had a moment of clarity this morning in which I realized that most right-wingnuts I know are (1) unrecovered alcoholics (usually they have found religion, at least on the surface, and claim they are “cured”); (2) active alcoholics (2a) or abusing other substances; (3) dependent on government aid in some way, shape or form; (4) people who flunked everything in sight while in school, even clock-watching and (4) people who have incredibly dysfunctional lives accompanied with a violent urge to tell other people how to live, even while they themselves bristle at anything that smacks of advice, let alone help.  Government intervention you see.  Never mind that right-wing radio blasting manure into their ears at least 8 hours every day.  (5) How could I forget?  Most of these people are television and/or talk radio addicts.

And now the Supreme Court wants to give these creatures more access to guns.  Not that their access was ever denied anyway; it was always all too easy to get a stack of AK-47s for “personal protection” and then shoot up a school or a highway, right?  Yes, it was.  Name me one cretin who was ever stopped from doing this by gun control.

Well the difference is that now you can buy one and you can’t even get arrested for it.  And if you manage to kill a whole bunch of people because you didn’t like the way they looked, or they were “mean” to you, you can stop worrying about extra years tacked onto your sentence (if you don’t kill yourself first, that is) for gun offenses.  It’s all very convenient.

So the conclusion I’ve arrived at is that (1) right-wingnuts now have one less thing to bitch about, but they will never stop bitching about it anyway because it’s too deeply embedded in what’s left of their brains, and (2) gun control was ineffective when you have so many cretins who think they need guns around.

Why do you need guns anyway?  This opens up another whole can of worms.

Do you need them to protect you from the government?  Nah.  You can win any battle like that if you have enough sticks and stones.  Look at George Bush…he’d back down from any public battle that would make it clear to him how unpopular he really was (and then secretly do whatever the hell he wanted to do anyway).  Look at Barack Obama…now being blamed for George Bush’s numerous mistakes.

So you need guns to protect you from corporations?  Nah.  They’ll just ignore you.  Look at BP.  (Or, come to think of it, maybe they’ll ask for an apology after they destroy the environment and you just happen to mention it in an unfavorable light.)  And if you’re a wingnut, you are all for corporate control anyway…after all, don’t they ship our jobs overseas, bring in millions of immigrants with false promises of jobs, make life as miserable as possible for small business, wreck the environment, increase U.S. unpopularity abroad exponentially and turn our lives into a regimented nightmare?  What heaven!  No government control…CORPORATE control.  Wingnuts are all for it. So you don’t need guns for that purpose, do you?

Do you need guns to protect you from banks?  Oh NO!!!  Fail!  You’re all for being overcharged for a house and then losing it because of a skyrocketing mortgage payment.  That’s FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY and CAPITALISM.  Right?

Ah, so you need a gun to protect you from liberal criminals?  Wrong.  Technically, there aren’t any.  Think about it.  Any notion that gun-toting liberals abound is nothing more than a hangover from the late 1960’s.

So you need guns to protect Rush Limbaugh?  Well, Sarah Palin was sniping the other day that Barack Obama is “cowering” before world leaders, yet she herself cowers before Limbaugh.  Maybe she needs to redirect that helicopter the next time she goes wolf-shooting if she’s that scared.  Aren’t we supposed to shoot things we’re scared of?  And aren’t we scared of everything, whether it is real or not?

You need guns to protect Israel?  Ah, now that’s a sticky one.  Ms. Palin and many of her right-wing cohorts are pro-Israel, but what they don’t realize is that most right-wingnuts hate the Jews.  (Of course, we do have to stop to consider why Weiner changed his last name, don’t we?  So some of them probably do realize this on some level.)  OOO that could get interesting…

What brought all this on?  Well the recent avalanche of stupid from the Supreme Court, and the usual continual blurbs of stupid from Congress and things like Sarah Palin, didn’t help.  But what really brought this on was a conversation with two otherwise intelligent people I know the other day, in which one of them stated with a straight face that Palin has more qualifications to be President than does Obama.  After I got over gasping for air, I reminded them of just one of her more wanton stupid moments in public — the Katie Couric interview — and her later claims that Katie was MEAN to her.  They had no answer for this and quickly changed the subject.  And yes, their only objection to Obama is that he is black.

So yes, we are talking about serious deficiencies here, but not necessarily Elena Kagan’s.  We’re talking about serious deficiencies with guns in their hands.

Let’s Drug Test Orrin Hatch

Read this and laugh until you cry.

The Rise of the Crazy Lady

I was reading in some paper the other day about how feminism has finally succeeded, seeing that in the recent primary election, women won a lot of the primaries — and these were conservative women at that.

I still maintain that being a conservative woman politician is an oxymoron, that if these women were truly living their own dreams for the rest of us, they’d be pregnant and barefoot housewives or retired and reclusive grandmothers.

Instead they are riding on the coattails of NOW, but somehow no one is noticing…or, if they are, they are failing to note the irony.  But then again, I seem to remember a prominent feminist being quoted as saying something to the effect that when the worst-qualified women are allowed to rise to the top, then we’ll know we finally have gender equality.  This must be what’s happening.

As I’ve noted before, it’s suddenly become okay to be publicly insane in the U.S.  A lot of the nuttiest nut cases are female politicians of the Teabagger ilk.  Time was that these daffy divas would have been ridiculed, laughed off the stage at every speech, and finally dragged off to the nearest asylum for good.  Of course, time was that not many of these creatures had the nerve to venture into politics.  Here in Illinois we did have Penny Pullen, but the majority of these lunatics were people like Anita Bryant and Phyllis Schlafly — one a fading entertainer and the other, God knows what — except that no one’s ever really taken the old bat seriously.

As we’ve seen with Sarah Palin, times are a’changing.  Achieving total off-the-wall loonydom is becoming difficult to do no matter how nutty you are.  Instead, the media seem to worship these weirdos and try to force them on the rest of us in the guise of goddess and savior.  Their support is, I suspect, grossly overstated, and even their worst gaffes ignored.

One blogger is predicting that this latest trend will come to a crashing halt on November 3, 2010, when Palin is finally discredited as a political force.  But somehow I doubt it.  The Crazy Lady movement has developed legs of its own and I suspect it will keep on marching to whatever off-beat drummer it has found.  The media are having too much fun with it to let it die from a mere brush with reality.  (I also suspect that if Palin’s hordes go down in defeat, it will be excused in some way as not being her fault.)

All I can say is, thank goodness for the Internet and its bloggers.  Its somewhat harder to push the Big Lie these days than it used to be.  But it’s still too easy.  Just look at all these Crazy Ladies.

Note to (stupid) Brits

It’s come to my attention that some of you are whining that the U.S. is “prejudiced” toward you because we are currently unhappy with British Petroleum with very good reason.

Well, to put it mildly, sod you.

First of all, I’ve heard enough anti-U.S. remarks from Brits over the years to counter any notion that you folks have been kind to us, let alone prejudice-free.

Second, we have a large contingent of dummies who are vehemently PRO-OIL SPILL.  And most of them are the same people who are probably also the most vehemently anti-Brit…because you are, after all, a bunch of foreigners and Teabaggers cannot cope with that AT ALL.

Third, as dumb as some of my compatriots are, NOBODY ON THIS SIDE IS CONFUSING ‘BRITISH’ WITH ‘PETROLEUM.’  In fact, most people I know don’t even know that company by any other name than “BP”.  Are you saying we SHOULD confuse you with an oil company?  Why do you want to resemble that remark?  That’s stupid, kiddo.

Fourth, the very LAST thing the U.S. needs right now is another whine.  We’ve plenty here at home, and an already almost-deafening chorus overseas.  Yes we are pushy bastards but really — are we responsible for the whole world’s problems?  Hardly.  I daresay the world creates plenty of its own problems without our assistance, although too often we help them destroy themselves.  (Now don’t leap on that one, darling, because — guess where we learned it?)

So I’ll put it this way: WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD’S STUPIDITY.

And because of this, I’m awarding the Stupid of the Day notice to any Brit who is dumb enough to join in on this latest whine (that’s “whinge” to you).  Take a bow, asshat.  And then shut the fuck up.

It’s hard to get tough with the boss…

Ah, so Obama is now threatening to make BP clean up its room.  Too late.

I’ve noticed something: since the oil spill debacle began, gas prices — which normally soar in this area in the summer — have declined rather noticeably.  Thank BP’s PR department.  If they raised summer prices like they normally do, they’d be in trouble with the public on two fronts.  As it stands now, they’re only in trouble with the environmentalists, who are generally portrayed by the right-wing media — which a lot of people are dumb enough to listen to — as extremists.

Now if Obama et al succeed in making them clean up their mess, bet that gas prices will soar.  Why?  Because…oh, poor oil companies!  Obama’s picking on them, that mean socialist Nazi Hitler anti-democracy socialist communistic pinko!  You can imagine the mileage Fox News will get out out of that one.  Vote the mean bastards out of office!  Put in a load of oil-sucking teabaggers instead!  Let’s have oil tea, bought and paid for by Rupert Murdoch (but ultimately, US)!

All I can say is, anyone who is pro-oil spill is beyond stupid; you’re also gullible to boot.  Do you really want Rupert Murdoch and BP running the U.S. government (not that they aren’t already, but at least Obama can pretend to upbraid them now and then)?  Yeah?  Well then, the least I can give you is a Stupid of the Day Award.  Take a bow, idiot.

Oh Goody, Another Nutcase

And now we bring you…SHARRON ANGLE!  Who?  She’s the Teabagger who beat out the legitimate Republican candidate in the primary in the race for a Nevada Senate seat.

And she’s nuts.  (EDIT: I wrote that at 1:00 a.m.; never a good time to write.  This morning I found out that the other Nevada Rup candidates were pretty loony too.  One wanted to pay doctors with chickens.)

I’ve been pondering this today, ever since I wrote my bit about Orly Taitz.  I’m up in years and this is the first time I can remember this many crazy people shamelessly doing what they do best — being nuts — out in the most public of arenas: radio, television, and far more dangerously, politics.

Talk radio is hosted by at least 90% nutcases and has been for quite a while, so it’s probably not even worth discussing anymore.  And of course Fox News has been an open joke for a decade.  What scares me…I mean, I find this really terrifying…is that some of these people are now oozing out of the loony bins into politics and doing things like running for office, and sometimes winning primaries and even real elections.

This means that other loonies out there are supporting them.  And not just some loonies, but enough of them to make everyone else’s lives just a bit more miserable because they simply refuse to accept the same reality as everyone else.

The question that must be answered is this: when did it become okay to be crazy?  I pretty much know when “stupid” happened, but I’m not talking about that here.  I’m talking about going out in public and ranting like a lunatic and having people applaud.  This didn’t used to happen.  Once upon a time they would just call you a lunatic and haul you away in a straitjacket.  Nowadays they give you money to make speeches that prove how loony you are.

I don’t even know if Sarah Palin is quite in this category.  I think she’s just stupid.  But a lot of her best buddies in politics are loony.

Stupid doesn’t scare me quite as much as loony because…well, look at it this way: you have to be loony to support stupid.  We seem to have a surfeit of both these days in the U.S.  And that is horrifying.

6/15/10 update: No, this is not “disinformation.”  YES ANGLE IS THAT NUTS.  Click here for more details, via Harry Reid.