Our First “D” List President

We’ve already had a “B” list President (Reagan), and Mr. Proud-of-my-C-grades MBA (Bush Jr.),  so I assume that if/when Palin assumes the throne she’ll be our first “D” list President.  I mean, who else has had her own reality show and a daughter on the verge of winning an undeserved prize in a bogus, sub-D-list dance contest…on TV, of course? (Small update: the outsized…compared to her dance partner…Bristol did not in fact win, but probably only because the producers of that show were SHOCKED — SHOCKED to find out that their voting system was full of holes big enough for a drove of blimp-sized teabaggers to drive through.)

Thus begins my discussion of Palin’s qualifications for the Presidency.  You will note that there isn’t much to discuss, and yet there are a world of wonders.

For instance, yesterday in a public place I happened to crack a joke about Palin.  A middle-aged man standing nearby bristled and then marched away stiffly; it was clear he was offended.  I’ll never forget the pained look on his face.  Oh, his poor misunderstood Sarah!

I misunderstand nothing about Sarah.  In Stupid language, I guess you’d say I no longer misunderestimate her.

The Palinbots are armed with nothing but misdirected rage (because there is nothing else for them to be armed with), but I wonder just how far they’d go for her?  I mean, if it became a fight to the death, would they do it?  I ask because I reckon if they came to such a point, they’d question why and some of them might see what the rest of us see: there’s nothing there.

Let’s take her name out of it for a bit and just describe her.  Imagine you were faced with a anonymous female candidate with this resume: pretty matriarch of a dysfunctional family that includes at least two kids who’ve had brushes with the law and one kid who’s had at least one baby out of wedlock; verbal upholder of morals and values that she does not live; a bully; allegedly a thief; clearly only marginally literate; totally lacking in curiosity about the world around her; often incoherent; has little notion of actual solutions to issues beyond uttering a platitude or two; has no idea of the structure or function of the federal government; has a remarkable history of quitting; has a spotty education; is almost as out of touch with the modern world and its survival as your average Luddite…until she requires a Lear jet to get her somewhere, that is.  Sound like a good President?

A commenter on another site recently said some things I wish I’d thought of first; the points were so succinct and so true..and I couldn’t help wondering how Palin would handle blunt truths, yet I know: she’d make up a platitude and repeat it at every opportunity, and meanwhile, the problem would rage out of control as usual.

First thing this person said: conservatives are the reason illegal immigrants are here and liberals are the reason illegal immigrants are allowed to stay.  That one should be plastered up on the Capitol Building to make it clear that there are no innocents in this form of human trafficking; everyone on either side is a villain.  Sarah Palin lacks the subtlety to see things like this; she only spouts “the liberals did it” as a solution.  Which is to say she has none — and that’s only one of several out-of-control problems facing this country for which she has no solution.

Second, the U.S. is a heartbeat away from becoming a third-world country.  Yep, and I’ll wager that heartbeat is Sarah Palin ascending the throne, as she appears to view it.

Our standards for the Presidency began to take a nosedive in the 1970’s and if Palin were elected — and I refuse to rule that out any more — it would represent the nadir of the office and possibly of this country.

Until she quit, of course.  When that happens, all bets are off.  The only previous quitter was Nixon and in his case, at least we knew why.  I have no doubt that if/when Palin quits the Presidency, the truth will be evident but enough attempts will be made to suppress the truth that many people will never be sure — and in the end, many of her most committed dummies will still view her as a beleaguered heroine.

Speaking of heroes who did not earn their titles, those of us with memories recall that when Reagan was in office, many people began to suspect that he was but a mouthpiece and someone else was running the show.  Yes, in spite of years of attempts to rewrite history, which have become particularly fervent recently, Reagan in his day was not viewed as a mental giant, much less a hero.  Quite the opposite, in fact: he was so obviously dumb that many of us were honestly scared for the country.

During the Shrub years we learned that compared to Reagan…well, it was possible for someone in high office to be dumber than that.  We went from a “B” movie actor to an Ivy-league legacy with a C-average MBA and a couple of failed businesses under his belt..but it was okay because he had found Jesus (apparently hiding somewhere under a rock).  Definitely this shred of a human being needed  someone else’s working brain holding his strings, and we learned that corporate America was the puppet master.

Now there’s Obama who, after two years of fighting off not only corporate America but the wingnut brigade (including Palin), appears to have given up.  He looks distinctly weary.

All it would take would be a dash of Palin to end the prestige and power of the office forever, and the rest of the world would be carving up the U.S. melon, as if they aren’t already.  Until recently I had faith that she would be history before that ever happened, but now, after reading articles in some until-recently prestigious newspapers that tried very, very hard to take a rose-colored view of Palin — meaning that corporate America has decided she will be elected to the Presidency — I am really afraid.  You should be, too.  The time for chuckling at the situation has passed.

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