The Sandwich Cookie Syndrome

Herman Cain.  Michele Bachmann.  (and even) Sarah Palin.

What do they have in common?  They’re all sandwich cookies.  I’d say the brand name but I don’t want some giant corporate conglomerate on my ass.  They aren’t worth the trouble.  Suffice it to say that the most popular sandwich cookie through the years has had vanilla frosting on the inside and chocolate cookies on the outside.  Other such cookies have different outsides and insides, but usually (not always), the basic scheme is the same: the outside is very different from the inside.

Many years ago I started to notice what I am now calling the Sandwich Cookie Syndrome.  No surprise that the first raging example to come to light was Phyllis Schlafly, that good old-fashioned white-bread “lady lawyer” who just HATES anything smacking of women’s rights, leave alone the fact that without women’s rights, she’d never have entered college let alone law school.

The primary symptom of the Sandwich Cookie Syndrome is that you label everything, but when the labels become inconvenient, then you put “oh, but s/he’s a GOOD *label*,” and the shortcoming of having a bad label is instantly overcome.

To put it simply, if you hate blacks, you support the “good” black Herman Cain.  If you hate women, you support things like Bachmann and Palin — “good” misogynous women.

And how are they “good?”  Well that’s easy.  They just take the conservative view on everything — the more extreme, the better.  Never mind the ironies, conflicts, cruelties, untruths, and outright lies; if you are “good,” they are forgiven because your presence is very comforting to the blinkered set.  Doubt it?  Then explain Cain, who seems to be too thick to accept any truth, Palin, to whom the truth is merely a vague inconvenience, and Bachmann, who is a complete stranger to the truth.  And that’s not even touching the issue of Stupid, which is equally present in all three of them.  But none of this seems to bother conservatives much — at least, not now.

Sandwich cookie-ism an easy ticket for the fame-hungry.  That is, it is an easy ticket until election day.  Then they find out the truth: a black is still black, and a woman is still a woman, and conservatives want neither for President.

And so in the end you are left with media pundits — you know, sorta like Sarah Palin *wink*.

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New Heights of Irony

I was just about to comment on Rick Perry getting trounced at last night’s CNN-hosted Tea Party debacle (which I hadn’t seen, but considering the coverage of it, felt like I had), when this was pointed out on my Facebook feed via Americans Against the Tea Party:

‎”Well, I’m offended for all the little girls and the parents that didn’t have a choice.” – Michelle Bachmann on Rick Perry’s mandated HPV vaccinations.

Choice.  Well, ain’t that just the height of irony.

For that matter, I’m offended too, Ms. Bachmann.

The Mother of all Sons of Bitches

In the past few days we’ve been drenched a tidal wave of conflicting messages about the Tea Party.  For instance, someone, somewhere has decided to try to save Sarah Palin’s career.  As an example of this, YahooNews ran a love letter to her in the guise of “opinion” just the other day.  The writer never got down to specifics — possibly because there are none — but instead waxed poetic about how Palin just oozes liberty and justice and holy inspiration, and about how moving her movie was (yes, so moving that people probably moved away from theaters to get away from it), and how anyone who hates her is afflicted with “Palin Derangement Syndrome.”  How hopelessly unoriginal, particularly in the face of the far more real Obama Derangement Syndrome that has been used as feed for an entire movement — the Tea Party, such as it is.

And it’s the Koch-backed Tea Party I am talking about here.  In the last few days they have had enough ups and downs in the media to knock anyone permanently dizzy, leaving alone the fact that they were dizzy to begin with.

Of course there’s the fact that a Koch brother was caught on audio saying something about launching “the mother of all wars” against the Obama administration during the reelection campaign next year.  The left were outraged; the right just probably silently nodded their noggins.  I was left wondering  just why such an untantalizing figure would directly quote a hated, deposed and hanged dictator, while hiding behind an Astroturf populist political party of his own creation.  Seemed rather ironic, if not just plain stupid.

And then we heard that Palin’s speech the other day drew a bigger audience than did Romney’s in the same state.  This was designed to scare moderate Republicans into kissing the Tea Party’s collective ass, when it is the size of that ass that has come under question.  Interestingly, it was hard to pin down just how big Palin’s audience was. But then the amateur videos started to leak out and seemed to indicate that if there were not an historic, possibly life-threatening stampede out of the venue after she spoke (which was before the keynote speaker of the event spoke), then the audience couldn’t have been very big to start with.

And then there was James Hoffa referring to the Tea Party as “sons of bitches,” and the immediate joke that this had shocked the teabaggers so badly that they dropped their “Obama is Hitler” signs.  Certainly, after scrambling to pick the signs up, they started whining about threats of violence against them.  Never mind that one of their own tools has been threats of violence.

And then, of course, came one of those ubiquitous surveys saying that approval of the Tea Party is at an all-time low, and at least one left-wing blog announced that we are witnessing its death.  Got news for you: it seems like the majority of the U.S. public has never heard of the Tea Party (and/or is not sure what the hell the Tea Party is).  So who were the survey-takers asking?

And tell me, even if it’s true that the Tea Party is dying, how does an Astroturf faux party die?  I think it will merely change its name and become yet another bogie man to scare moderate Republicans to the right.  There is too much at stake here for the Koch brothers and their ilk to give up that easily.

The only way to end this game is to keep coming out with the truth.  And the truths are these: the Tea Party is not real, so let’s stop examining it as if it were.  Sarah Palin is nothing more than a publicity whore.  And the Kochs are behind the whole thing.  Why?  Because they think the life of an Untouchable in India is good enough for 98% of us.

And in this case, the mother of all sons of bitches is nothing more than publicity.  If you don’t pay attention to the Tea Party or Palin, they are finished.  The Kochs, operating in the shadows, are another deal altogether, but the answer there is to expose them at every opportunity.

It is possible, folks, but we just have to keep looking at the man behind the curtain and not so much at the curtain itself.

I am speechless, irony

Sarah Palin is going to South Korea, a country I assume she thinks is an enemy state while North Korea is our great friend, to speak before a gathering of…are you sitting down…the World Knowledge Forum.

Read this, but don’t have any coffee in your mouth while you do because you’ll spit it out.

Oh well. If nothing else, this could be a great way of  being able to say, “oops, I missed the debate,” and pulling down $100,000.00 or thereabouts in the meantime.  As the song goes, money for nothing.

Yet another WTF moment

Once again, the WTF moment comes from what someone on Facebook called “The Batshit Twins.”  You get two guesses as to who the twins are and the first two don’t count if you’re a regular reader here.

Anyway, read this and think long and hard about two terms: “retard” and “gay.”  Then join me in marveling at the similarities between Palin and Bachmann — now including their reactions to imagined insults, which from both parties sound something like: “that just shows how inappropriate and immature liberals are, this doesn’t hurt my feelings because I’m getting used to it (but I’m reacting violently anyway), he’s so MEEEEEAN to me, I’m just a politician speaking her mind that’s in the Constitution and the American people who love freedom, and that’s what he’s mad about, and…blah, blah, blah.”   Never mind that it usually turns out that the object of their ire never uttered any such word, or if s/he did, it wasn’t aimed anywhere near the Batshit Twins.   Everything, after all, is about them.

I am reminded of a quote from Gone With the Wind which went something like, “Scarlett knew that the way to hold a man’s attention was to talk about him and then slowly turn the conversation to the subject of yourself and keep it there.”  That’s exactly what these two nutjobs are doing.

Or, at least, it’s what they’re trying to do.

Reality has crept so close to Sarah Palin at this point that even she must sense its cold breath just behind her.  The success of her first book can be questioned; the second just plain failed.  Her movie failed.  Her bus tour failed.  Come to think of it, quitting the governor’s job in Alaska — lauded as a brilliant move by some on the right — was the biggest failure of all.

Since Bachmann has gone ahead and tossed her mane into the Presidential ring, only Fox News and a few blogs are really paying Palin any mind these days.  One  may wonder what will happen if she actually does announce her own candidacy at this point, and come up with the distinct possibility that it will be nothing much.  (Of course, someone, somewhere will try to paint it as being an unqualified success.  All I can say is, “unqualified” is the only correct word in that sentence.)

Everyone else is trying to make Bachmann look like she is coherent and has ideas (or even some notion of reality), and it’s keeping them very busy — far too busy to bother much with yesterday’s Palin.

Nasty books are being written about Palin, but at this point even they aren’t of much interest to many people.  It’s official:  Bachman is the new mind-rape of the right.  It’s rather like trading in a red  tomato for a pink one: the difference in flavor is slight.  But both go splat real good when they’re rotten, and it  just so happens that Palin is the tomato that is closer to being rotten at the moment.

But I digress.  The real issue is that, like I just said, these two are nearly identical.  Both are controlled by their husbands, for instance, but neither will allow any access to the spouse even as they declare that someone like Michelle Obama is fair game for their own brand of nastiness.  Catfight?  Yes, these two understand that concept well, even as they appear to understand little else.

Both are physically attractive.  Both seem to think that being President is no more challenging than being Miss America.  And so they yammer and whine like they are doing a backstage scene in some reality show about beauty pageants.  (The real fun will begin when they inevitably start whining about each other, which has already begun to an extent.)

It’s all very cute, but what bothers me is that either of them is being taken seriously for even one second.  It went on for more than 2 years with Palin, and now we’re being hammered almost every day with new and improved…but somehow acceptable…idiocy from Bachmann.  It seems there is nothing she can do or say that is so stupid that she is sidelined, as she should be, instantly.  This is where Palin was in the latter half of 2008.  Let’s just hope that the story ends the same way for Bachmann.

In the meantime I have only one request for the both of them: turn down the whine.  Your idiocy is badly affecting the careers of actual intelligent female politicians who do NOT confuse Miss America with the Presidency.  And you’re driving most of the rest of us insane.  So please, please STFU, won’t you?

BTW, a note for Palin/Bachmann defenders and the media who are trying so hard to make Bachmann look legit: a Teabagger relative of mine shuddered when I mentioned Palin’s name (“she’s crazy!” the person said), and didn’t even know who Bachmann is.   You’ve got some work to do, Hoss.

Collision with Reality

Yesterday two elderly relatives, who are spending their retirement listening to right-wing radio shouters, came face-to-face with the fact that those shouters, whose every word they imbibe like a poisoned martini, are the same people who want to destroy them in order to save the wealthy from taxes.  But they still didn’t quite get it.

Why not?  Because the shouters are shouting louder than ever, blaming everything on Obama.  Remember, the louder you shout, the truther you are, even if you are spewing nonsense.  It’s the first law of the propagandist.  And because of the screaming propagandists, there is a contingent of about 30 million people in the U.S. who have absolutely no idea what is really going on.  The rest have a sort-of half idea of what’s going on, and it’s all because of the rest of the media.  (No, there is no mainstream “liberal media.”)

I did try to tell one of my relatives that if it weren’t for Obama, whatever Social Security benefits and Medicare benefits they are already getting would have been completely erased by Republican/Teabagger hands.  She sorta got it, but only after I lectured for about 10 minutes.  The other one remains hopelessly marooned in his easy chair next to the radio, swaddled in an inescapable cocoon of anger over the fact that there is a half-black man in the White House.

I gather that one message has reached through the loudly vibrating  cocoon, however: the message that Social Security, at least, has never been the cause of the government’s financial problems.  That much even these two folks get.  Apparently, however, the right-wing flapjaws have been concentrating their attacks on Medicare/Medicaid.   “But there’s so much fraud in Medicare!” protested my reluctant student.  I told her if she wanted to see fraud, she need look no further than your average private health insurer.  She agreed, but I believe it was only to keep from being forced to have to think.

(One upside: if Medicare/Medicaid are cut, it will only serve to demonstrate how badly a national health insurance plan is needed.  And maybe this message will come so loud and clear that the army of flapjaws will not be able to shout it down, quite as they were unable to shout Social Security down.)

Meantime I’ve gotten a few private e-mails from Teabaggers who are chortling that “this is the end of Obama” and “he’ll never be re-elected now!”  I usually don’t take the bait but this time I did write back to one of them and only asked the following: “and who will be blamed the next time?  Bachmann?”

In true Teabagger fashion, he hasn’t replied.

“The British Are Coming!…oops”

Gotta celebrate it, I guess.

So far Sarah Palin has failed to explain why, in her version of events, Paul Revere’s ride consisted of ringing bells and shooting off a rifle or a revolver or something (neither of which, if I remember correctly, existed at the time), desperately warning the British that the British were coming.  In her world, this was all about gun rights.

Everything is about gun rights.  Even abortion is about gun rights.  Climate change?  Gun rights.  Fuel prices?  Gun rights.  Taxes?  Gun rights.  Drugs?  Gun rights.  War?  Gun rights.  Lamestream media?  Gun rights.  Birth certificate?  Gun rights.  Death panels?  Gun rights.

Next, I suppose, she’ll be claiming that Revere wrote the Constitution and Jesus signed it while packing a six-shooter.  GUN RIGHTS, you know.

Frankly I’m too confused to go on.  I became even more confused when she once again entrenched herself in a falsehood when challenged by, of all people, Chris Wallace.

(Most of) The nation is laughing at her.  Even other parts of the world are laughing at her.  And yet she keeps pulling the Big Lie chain to the extent that her brainwashed personal army has tried and failed to rewrite the Wikipedia entry about Paul Revere to suit their Queen Ester’s version of The Ride.  And the media keep TELLING US ABOUT HER.  WHY???

All I can do is shake my head and cluck my tongue.  There is truly magic in the air.  I say that because without it, she would have been a small blip on the screen that passed long ago.  I know, I’ve covered that point way too often.  But that never stops me from marveling at it: why won’t she go away?