The Sandwich Cookie Syndrome

Herman Cain.  Michele Bachmann.  (and even) Sarah Palin.

What do they have in common?  They’re all sandwich cookies.  I’d say the brand name but I don’t want some giant corporate conglomerate on my ass.  They aren’t worth the trouble.  Suffice it to say that the most popular sandwich cookie through the years has had vanilla frosting on the inside and chocolate cookies on the outside.  Other such cookies have different outsides and insides, but usually (not always), the basic scheme is the same: the outside is very different from the inside.

Many years ago I started to notice what I am now calling the Sandwich Cookie Syndrome.  No surprise that the first raging example to come to light was Phyllis Schlafly, that good old-fashioned white-bread “lady lawyer” who just HATES anything smacking of women’s rights, leave alone the fact that without women’s rights, she’d never have entered college let alone law school.

The primary symptom of the Sandwich Cookie Syndrome is that you label everything, but when the labels become inconvenient, then you put “oh, but s/he’s a GOOD *label*,” and the shortcoming of having a bad label is instantly overcome.

To put it simply, if you hate blacks, you support the “good” black Herman Cain.  If you hate women, you support things like Bachmann and Palin — “good” misogynous women.

And how are they “good?”  Well that’s easy.  They just take the conservative view on everything — the more extreme, the better.  Never mind the ironies, conflicts, cruelties, untruths, and outright lies; if you are “good,” they are forgiven because your presence is very comforting to the blinkered set.  Doubt it?  Then explain Cain, who seems to be too thick to accept any truth, Palin, to whom the truth is merely a vague inconvenience, and Bachmann, who is a complete stranger to the truth.  And that’s not even touching the issue of Stupid, which is equally present in all three of them.  But none of this seems to bother conservatives much — at least, not now.

Sandwich cookie-ism an easy ticket for the fame-hungry.  That is, it is an easy ticket until election day.  Then they find out the truth: a black is still black, and a woman is still a woman, and conservatives want neither for President.

And so in the end you are left with media pundits — you know, sorta like Sarah Palin *wink*.

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