I predict

As yet another crazy has thrown his hair into the net (Rick Perry, that is), I now have a prediction for the 2012 Presidential election: President Perry.

It all came clear to me the moment he decided to deny his previous denials that he was even thinking about the office, decided to ignore his previous desire for Texas to leave the U.S. (okay!  when?), and decided to take credit, much like Walker in Wisconsin, for tons of new (low-wage, no benefits)  jobs in his state that had little or nothing to do with him being governor.

What was clear?  This guy is going to be President.  Yes, he of the insufferable corn-sucking accent, hideous boots and faux-cowboy hat perched on a perfectly-coiffed, brainless noggin; he of the stuffed suit and cheap plastic mannerisms, all neatly packaged to sell like a steaming pile of horse-shit to the country music god and country set.  You know, just like George Bush.  Only dumber.

Now let’s get real:  Palin is never going to run; Perry’s her man.  Or at least, she will say that when it becomes apparent that his billionaire supporters have already rigged the election for him.  Saves face for her, after all.  It’s clear to most of us that her political ambitions are dead; however, the too-large portion of the U.S. media still determined to pay her some mind has already declared that she will be the “king maker” in the upcoming primary season (based on what is something they never say).  She’d probably sooner tear her wig off in public than support Michele Bachmann — remember, this is the set that is entertained by cat fights.  So Perry is the perfect way out for her.  Gotta grift while you can! *wink*

She’s getting help from the rest of the field.  Romney is a large, handsome cloud of nebulous gases.  Bachmann is too overtly crazy to get the nomination.  Crazy may be okay for a man, but for a woman?  Pfft.

However, as Bush Jr. and Reagan have proven, stupid is no barrier to being President.  Enter Perry, the dumbest of them all.

But the majority of citizens would NEVER vote for this rhinestone cowboy! you protest.  And I say it’s no matter.  Why?  Because he will do what Bush did twice: steal the office.

It’s already in the works.  Mark my words, kiddies.

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The Doors of the Loony Bin

I guess my burnout started in mid-2010; it’s only grown worse in 2011 and I’ve run out of excuses.  It seems like every day there are so many targets that I run out of arrows, or even the time or the will to shoot them.

Most depressing is that if you read the archives of this blog, (while you’ll find a few factual errors such as Murdoch’s citizenship), you’ll find that I’ve been on target most of the time, even though in some cases it’s taken the rest of the world a bit of time to catch up to people like my readers and myself.  Why is this depressing?  Well, I can only call it by the phrase someone else coined not so long ago: that giant sucking sound.  Everything, it seems, is going down the drain — including reality.

The reality gap started in earnest during the Reagan years.  After having spent 4 years in high school playing hippie, one day a few years into the college-age time of life I woke up to the proclamation (which I believe was in Time magazine or something like that) that my generation was “the most conservative ever seen.”  “Huh?” I asked.  I’m still asking the same question.

Yes there were goofs around then, but they were confined to UHF channels.  Sometime in the 1970’s I remember one guy whose show, (the old-time equivalent of the modern-day cable-access or USTREAM type show) consisted of a half hour of him screaming at his evil liberal guests.  No matter what they said, he’d scream at them.  No matter that he was making no sense, he was miked at least 4 times louder than anyone else and shouting on top of it.  He was all you could hear.  That’s a basic rule of the propagandist: shout louder than anyone else, even if no one can understand you.  The louder you shout, the truther you are.  To hell with facts.

He died of a heart attack, and his Republican-coiffed wife took over the show and faded into oblivion.  Actually, having started out in oblivion, there wasn’t far for her to go.

Those were the days.  The goofs were restricted to the outer fringes.  When did they become mainstream?  Again, during the Reagan years.

The Reagan years gave birth to Fox News, which is the core of the lunatic fringe (no longer really fringe) right now.  Yes, they are on dangerous ground with the current controversies, but the fact is, I’m willing to wager that most of the U.S. public was on to them all along.  But it did us no good.  Fox was allowed to bend reality until it snapped, then create their own, and they are still being allowed to do so.

Worse, they have a fairly large, hard-core brainwashed contingent of fans (some of my Facebook friends among them), who view every criticism as an evil liberal conspiracy — likely including the recent revelations of illegal cell-phone hacking or whatever it is.  Actually, being hard-core Fox maniacs, they are barely aware that there is any controversy at all.  But what they know of it?  THAT EVIL LAMESTREAM MEDIA!!!!  Yep, that’s what’s to blame!  Just like OBAMA IS THE ONE WHO CREATED THE DEBT CEILING CRISIS.

Bullshit times ten, but this is the shit Fox News is feeding its audience. And its audience has quite a taste for shit.  Stop to consider that these are the same people who have probably chosen to believe — because that’s all they’ve been told — that Sarah Palin’s “The Undefeated” movie hasn’t been defeated.  Yep.  I’ll bet at least one of the minions has even been heard to say that the movie has been a resounding success, so much so that it defeated Harry Potter (oh yeah?  You mean Voldemort won?), when in fact it’s almost gone straight to DVD.  This is the kind of upside-down reality we’ve been dealing with, and when you meet someone who has swallowed the shit tea, you cannot change their mind any more than you can rescue their taste buds.

There is very little chance that Fox News will disappear as a result of all of the controversies — how can you suffer from something you deny exists? — but I do sit and fantasize about what might happen if that came to pass.  Where would these people get their fix (you can’t call it news) then?

Unfortunately, plenty of places — and they won’t have to search long and hard.  Again, thank Reagan.  He was the one who opened the door of the mass-media loony bin, after all.  And look at the mess we have now.

As for me, as I said, there is too much mess to deal with: too many alternate universes to waft about in, too much shattered reality to sweep up.  I’ll be around, but I will no longer make promises to be more active.  I’m just in permanent overload.

A Fairy Tale for Pundits

Everyone knows by now that TV personality Donald Rump is, in fact, not running for President.  The only people who appear to be truly interested in this fact are the people who took him seriously in the first place.

No, I am not one of them.  Yes, I was quite irritated with all the media attention on Rump’s toy Presidential maybe-bid, just as I am irritated with the fact that the media continue to take Sarah Palin far more seriously than do the rest of us.  It seems that our media now exist in an alternate universe in which the differences between seriousness and flightiness, sanity and insanity, intelligence and stupidity, and most important, REALITY and UNREALITY do not exist.

Anyway, this particular chapter in media stupidity is mercifully over.  It ended when Rump got handed his charred ass at a White House Correspondents Association dinner and was obviously unable to handle it, followed by the announcement of the death of bin Laden right in the middle of Rump’s reality show in which he gets to act very tough and fire celebrities from pretend jobs.

Of course, this was around the same time as Rump’s silly reaction to the release of the President’s long-form birth certificate, as well as news of Rump’s various swindles, but the fact is that neither of those hurt him much.  The White House dinner and the death of the terrorist were dramatically different; Rump had been handed his own seriously charred ass twice in a matter of a few days and that was something even the most blinkered media mouth could see and understand.  It was finally that loud and clear: Rump was in the big leagues now and thoroughly over-matched by a President he was attempting to heap scorn upon from his own imaginary lofty seat (you know, the Wealthy White Guy Zone).

The sad thing is that this is an isolated case.  Rump is only one idiot of many, and I don’t see any domino effect in progress.  Yes, Huckabee is out, but Palin and Bachmann are still roaming the Earth with their political aspirations, at least in the minds of some, viable.  And as I say, there are many others.

So, with a hefty sigh, I give you the story of Pat Paulson.  Who’s he?  Well, I’m surprised that you have no idea and further surprised that someone, somewhere, hasn’t issued an oh-so-serious tome about his considerable political thought, or something like that.

My own memory only goes back to the 1960’s, but as far as I’m aware, he was the first TV personality — a comedian, actually — to engage in a joke run for the Presidency.  Yes, it was a joke.  But it was taken just barely seriously enough that his name appeared on the ballot in at least one state.  This was in 1968; his candidacy was launched on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour or whatever it was called.  Paulson ran for President (with less publicity) during every cycle in succeeding years, ending only with his death in 1997.

Thing is, most people knew his run for the Presidency was a joke.   After all, the cartoon dog Snoopy also ran for President during those years.  As far as I remember, neither Snoopy nor Paulson was ever mentioned with any seriousness on an evening news broadcast, much less in a newspaper.  It was clear at the time that some people are Presidential candidates and others are performers, or even cartoon dogs.  Even 7-year-olds emerging from the fantasy world of early childhood could see this.

That clarity was lost, perhaps, when a former B-movie actor was elected to the Presidency in 1980.  The erosion of pundits’ abilities to decipher reality from fantasy seems to have started in earnest then.  The erosion became further evident when an Austrian-born action movie actor was elected to the governor’s chair in California after uttering a few of the correct right-wing catch-phrases, and was so adored by his minions that a petition was started to allow this actor to run for the Presidency in spite of his foreign birth.  Yes, it’s true.  And yes, those minions are many of the same people who later joined the birther movement after Obama was elected.

And so it leads to what we have now: fantasy Presidential candidates backed by fantasy media empires (as in: a new radio ratings system has revealed that right-wing talk radio was apparently never as powerful as people have chosen to believe), with oh-so-serious media pundits jiggling their jowls about the latest joke’s chances of sitting in the Oval Office.

Happily, sometimes reality still jumps up and bites these people in their asses.  Such is as it was with Rump, who the media took as seriously as he takes himself.  Such is as it always was with Paulson, who never had the tremendous ego to take himself seriously.

May it be that way for all of them one day.

Ode to the Fat Man

This one’s for Rush Limbaugh, who has chosen to believe that the kettle calling the pot black is okay.   It’s your song, Porko.

Weird Al Yankovic — Fat

P.S. to innocent bystanders: yes, there is an ad at the start.  Sit through it.  It’s worth the moment of pain because the song is so enjoyable…and when it comes to the Fat Man, so true.

False Truths

Yes I know this article, Eight False Things the Public “Knows” Prior to Election Day (click on title), has been posted widely on Facebook, and everyone is on Facebook, so you’ve already read it.  But read it again.

One other observation before I sign off for today: last week while visiting a relative who is addicted to right-wing radio shriekers, I overheard one of the shriekers (doesn’t matter which one) say that OF COURSE Obama isn’t responsible for the financial mess the nation is in.  But, Bush didn’t do it either.  The guilty party?  NANCY PELOSI!!!!!

Oh PULEEEZE….why don’t you just point fingers at Gloria Steinem while you’re at it?  Don’t get me started because I don’t have that much time to write today, and that kind of idiocy isn’t worth my time anyway.  What galls me, though, is that these shriekers state this sort of thing as fact and move on, usually giving slim or none-but-hearsay as evidence, as was the case in this episode.  I’ve even heard them, more than once, state thing like, “Obama is a Muslim and was born on Pluto” as if it were fact and then quickly move on to something else, as if one of their blinkered listeners would be sharp enough to catch the stage-knife jab.  Of course they do this all the time — they have to keep repeating the Big Lie just to refill the empty kettles between the ears of the addle-brained before some actual truth starts to seep in from somewhere else.

I wonder when I’ll hear one of them admit to being an idiot and move on just as quickly?  But I’m not holding my breath.

Crazy Ladies and Just Plain Stupid

Here’s an update that you probably don’t need because it’s all, of  course, big news:

(1) Sharron Angle thinks that Hispanics look Asian.  She said so to a large roomful of Hispanic teenagers.  While certain research may prove her to be partially correct, she would probably reject it as it undoubtedly involves science…you know DNA and that kinda stuff.  Ironic, isn’t it.  And dumb.  I mean, why the hell bother with it unless you’re a racist or something.

(2) Christine O’Donnell has no idea that the First Amendment bars the imposition of a state religion.  In fact, she questioned this in front of a roomful of law students.  Dumb, isn’t it.  And yet, the glaring lesson apparently didn’t sink in.  She still has no idea in spite of being sharply corrected by her opponent — or if she has, she’s concluded that the Constitution is unconstitutional.

Neither has been forced from her respective race for being stupid, either.  Outrageous, isn’t it.

And now for the crowning achievement: our eternal honorary Crazy Lady, Fat-Face (a.k.a The Fat Man — or Limbaugh if you haven’t caught on) thinks that Obama looks “demonic.”  I think I’ll just call that one outright stupid, because it is.  No further comment necessary.

Inequality in Stupid

Well, that was going to be my theme, anyway.  But now I’m rather doubting it.

Why?  Because of Rick Sanchez (ex-CNN anchor; fired for calling Jon Stewart a “racist”).  I was all ready to point out that Sanchez was only incoherently wrong ONCE and he lost his job, and look at the Fat Man, who is both incoherent and wrong every day and under no threat from anyone for being incoherent and wrong.  In fact, according to his own claims, about 30,000,000 people love him for being wrong.  Then again, he could be wrong.  But the fact is, even if he is wrong, no one seems to care.  That’s incoherence for yuh.

And so I thought ah-HAH, poor Sanchez, not being a conservative radio barker, he only gets to be wrong once and he’s gone.  Well, I was wrong.

Turns out Sanchez had screwed up quite a bit in the past, including a deadly drunk-driving encounter, and still had his career intact.  That it took an attack on Jon Stewart to get him bounced off CNN, does say a little about the state of things.

The only thing I can glean from it all is that (1) Stewart is indeed Jewish, and (2) yes, there are a lot of Jews in media, but (3) no, I don’t see much megalomania there, particularly not in Stewart’s case.  This is where Sanchez’s diatribe became totally incoherent.  I’m guessing he was depending on being Hispanic being more sympathetic than being Jewish?  Well, he was wrong.  And he was stupid.  And it was finally too much stupid for CNN to put up with.

So there is an inequality here, but it isn’t hidden anywhere in some mythical Jewish vs. Hispanic sympathy quotient (I mean, crap, what do you do with a Hispanic Jew?).  It’s all in the stupidity quotient.  See, you’ve got the Fat Man on the radio every day, and the Whiner (who is Jewish), and countless others braying all sorts of stupid over the airwaves day after day after day, year after year after year.  The blood-pressure meds never seem to run out, nor does the stupid.  They just bray and their acolytes nod their noggins in agreement.  And nothing ever happens to them, no matter how stupid they get.  (Okay, so once in a great while one of them is forced to quit, gets banned from visiting a foreign country, or gets forced into retirement.  So what.  The rest of them are still there.)  Meantime, Sanchez invents one tangle of non-logic about Stewart and he’s gone.

It’s a weird world, ain’t it.  Oh well.  One thing remains steadfast: I’m awarding Sanchez the Stupid of the Day Award.  But it’s only because he worked for CNN, which was (so to speak) responsible for his content even if he was not, and because of that he got caught.