On Media Complicity (#1 of many)

I had intended to make a spreadsheet naming media outlets (Politico comes to mind) and listing their transgressions against reality.  Alas, despite my meager software expertise, I could not figure out how to post it here.  As a result I have decided to post an ongoing series of articles that will appear whenever transgressions crop up — either alone and severe, or just tiring and widespread.

Call this one “tiring and widespread.”  It’s on the subject of unqualified people hired by CNN, MSNBC, and other legitimate cable and broadcast outlets.  All of them are reicht-wingers.  None of them makes one tiny bit of sense.  It’s just an extension of the old days when various news organizations would run to Jerry Falwell and/or Phyllis Shufly whenever the subject of women’s rights came up.

Fox News employees will be included in the list of employees and frequent guests of media outlets named here; it will not be included in future articles about the creation and/or slanting of actual news — because Fox News is not actual news.  It is merely the propaganda standard to which, for some reason, CNN and others seem to be aspiring.

So anyway, here we go.  Here’s a list of “why are they here” provocateurs and just plain old pains in the ass; it will be added to as we go along because there are so many of these people that I can’t possibly think of all of them at once:

Laura Ingraham
Sean Hannity
Rush Limbaugh
Meghan McCain
Rick Santorum
Jeannie Pirro
Tomi Lehren

And this list will be of actors/singers/Evangelical preachers/whatevers who are generally NOT hired by media outlets for their (lack of) political and current-events expertise, but end up getting lots of publicity for their worthless, inflammatory, and just plain obnoxious opinions nonetheless:

Roseanne Barr
Franklin Graham
Pat Robertson
Ann Coulter
Steve Bannon




Couple of things that need to be revisited

Trump is now using the abortion “issue” as his latest distraction attempt (before today, that is, when he had McConnell let it slip that Trump will sign the border deal, but at the same time declare a ‘national emergency’).

To explain how we got where we are on abortion, I submit this article.  I can almost guarantee you didn’t know about how abortion was pulled out of a hat to become an issue, when previously the evangelicals had (like their Jaysus) never said anything about it.  Nope, folks.  The real issue all along was racism.

Now on to the 2nd amendment, which Trump recently declared he just loves.  Watch this video, and be educated about the 2nd amendment.  Yep, Olbermann just said that: the 2nd amendment makes no mention of private gun ownership.  None.  The 1990’s Supreme Court misinterpretation seems to have been bought and paid for.  Sooner or later the truth will come out about it, but as for right now, know that the friggin’ 2nd amendment has nothing to do with gun ownership.  It is about gun control.

There are a 1000 other things that have become accepted as truth, but aren’t.  But these two are the major ones at the moment.  Do read the article, and do watch the video.

An unpopular opinion on a minor issue

Nancy Pelosi is being credited with staring Trump down on the shutdown matter, and it’s good that she’s being credited.  Don’t forget, however, that Mueller’s magnificent stunt of arresting Roger Stone — even before the entire case against him was ready — was the immediate cause of Trump’s collapse on the “wall” issue*.  Yes, Pelosi is a brilliant politician, but she had help in this matter.  She didn’t do it alone.

But that’s not the point here.  The point is the 10,000 memes, cartoons and other commentary this has generated on social media, which all seem to have to do with Pelosi emasculating Trump.

THINK about this for a minute.

This is the same sort of thinking that aided the Russians in attacking Hillary Clinton in 2016, folks.  Putin is, after all, terrified of Clinton.  So is Bannon.  So is Trump.  Probably so is Stephen Miller and any of a number of clowns in Congress (never forget Lindsey Graham, who is resurrecting the “but her emails” crap show as we speak).

This is all because she’s a woman.

For a long time I chose to believe that this was a flaw on their side only, but now I see that this is very deeply ingrained in almost everyone on both sides.  A woman simply isn’t supposed to get the better of a man.  If she does…well you see what’s happened: thousands of memes more or less making fun of Trump for being less than a manly man.

Yes the right wing tried to make an issue of Ann Coulter’s nagging of Trump, but the fact is, Coulter lost her glitter a long time ago and she never had any validity.  At the point her name came up, she was a fading neocon windbag begging for attention.  Then the rumors surfaced about her digging her pro-wall stiletto heels into Trump.  Remember that they tried to resurrect Rush Limbaugh along with her, and he faded right back into well-paid oblivion once the woman angle was played.  Not that I believe Coulter’s actually a woman, but have you heard anything about Limbaugh since about a week ago?  I’m sure he’s still out there somewhere with his flabby jowls flapping in the breeze, but no one’s listening who’s under 80.  That’s where he was before, and where he will remain.

Coulter’s last 15 seconds are almost gone now and it’s apparent that this whole thing was rigged either by her agent or by the Russians, or maybe both.  Which brings us back to Pelosi, who actually is someone.

Which brings us back to all these memes, cartoons, comments, etc.

Yeah it’s funny for about a nanosecond, but it’s not so funny when you examine what’s behind it.  I’d ask that everyone left of right stop and reconsider.  Let’s give Nancy Pelosi the credit she is due.  And never forget that she had help, but since that was from a male source, we’re hearing nothing about it.

Kind of tells you everything.

*there is a lot of controversy about this, but it sure did look like the arrest put a fire under Trump’s ass to open the government right away instead of dragging his heels a few more days.  The TSA strike at LaGuardia probably helped, too.

Of White Elephants, Kushner and (ultimately) Syria

According to a report by NBC News, special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigators are looking at multiple efforts made by Kushner to obtain financing for the project from the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar, but they were rejected. Later Qatar’s neighbors in the Persian Gulf, including Saudi Arabia, began a blockade against Qatar, alleging that the state was a supporter of terrorism. As a Trump adviser on Middle East policy, Kushner, with close ties to Saudi Arabia, was a party to launching this blockade. This and other attempts to get financing for 666 Fifth from Russia, China, and Turkey have drawn the investigators to scrutinize what seem to be Kushner’s serious conflicts of interest.

— from The Curse of 666 Fifth Avenue, the Skyscraper That Could Sink the Kushners
Clive Irving

The preceding paragraph sums up the entire recent history of the 666 Fifth Avenue debacle better than I ever could, so please be sure to read it.  It explains most of what I’m about to say.

I’d also like to emphasize that all of this is merely my effort to connect the dots.  I am guessing based on publicly-available information.

Okay, here we go.  First of all, it is said that Jamal Khashoggi was researching the connection between the Saudis, the Qatar blockade, Kushner, and this stupid building.  I’m also guessing that Kushner spent much of 2017 flitting around the world selling and/or trading U.S. intelligence for various types of profit.

Those two things are connected, because it’s said that one of the names mentioned in some intelligence Kushner very generously gave the Saudis was Khashoggi — who already had been a thorn in their side anyway, and probably Kushner wasn’t a fan of his either, considering that he was allegedly researching Kushner’s financing irregularities.

Anyway, this likely led to Khashoggi’s horrific murder at the hands of the Saudis.  In Turkey.  The location of the murder is connected (Turkey).  Saudi Arabia is connected to Turkey.  They’re all connected to Putin.

As I’m writing this, Trump is trying to lie and say that Erdogan told him not to worry, he’d take care of ISIS for him.  (I guess later he’ll claim that this was the grand plan he had to eliminate ISIS minutes after he assumed the presidency — remember that campaign promise?)

Also remember that it’s a documented fact that the Saudis fund ISIS.  ISIS was well contained in Syria, as I understand, but without U.S. troops there they will go wild and probably conduct mass genocide against the Kurds.**  I don’t know what the Russian/Saudi/Turkish axis stands to gain from all of this; Syria is not terribly oil rich.  Nonetheless, it’s all connected.

All of which brings us to the Kushner connection to Trump’s sudden and stupid announcement that the U.S. would be withdrawing from Syria (he’s also now saying something about Afghanistan, but that’s a whole other bag of filthy corruption).  It all goes back to the Khashoggi murder and all the crap that event threatens to expose, should it ever be made totally public.  Remember, Trump is now saying that TURKEY is bailing us out of Syria.  He originally said it was Russia, but was probably quickly ordered by Putin to STFU, even as the Russian media were openly celebrating.

I’m guessing that a threat of exposure of Kushner actually being an accessory, however unwittingly, to the murder of a U.S. green card holder (and a journalist) is what pushed Trump to make this rash announcement.  And that threat came from Turkey.

No, it’s not Turkey turning on their buddies the Saudis and the Russians.  They’re all in it together; Erdogan is just trying to extract goodies from the evidence he has about the murder (and he does seem to have a lot — tapes?  really?  how the hell did that happen?). Being the kind of creature he is — and Trump, Mr. Bone Saw and Putin are — he doesn’t care who he embarrasses a bit while doing it, and his buddies in the axis don’t care, either.  To them, it’s all for show and profit.  The Russians certainly don’t care; apparently they’re doubling over with laughter as we speak.

You see, Russia is trying (and failing) to look as innocent in the whole affair of the 2016 election and all the goodies they’ve stolen since, as Saudi Arabia is trying to look innocent in the death of Khashoggi (and their financing of terrorists, etc., etc.).  Erdogan, (who as of right now has little to hide but the fact that his security guards beat up U.S. protestors on U.S. soil and Trump did nothing about it), got the Trump card in this caper, and he’s delivered Syria to the axis with it while allowing Russia and S.A. to claim they had nothing to do with it.  Never mind the glass houses.

Oh yes, there IS one glaring gem in Erdogan’s own glass house: the long-standing aggression of the Turks against the Kurds.  Forgot about that.  My bad.  It’s only the major piece of the puzzle here, after all.

Anyway, now Trump has lost his Secretary of Defense as a result of all of this (of course he’s trying to re-frame this by claiming that he fired Mattis).  In his brilliant resignation letter, Secretary Mattis stopped just short of calling Trump a traitor.  The letter was so deeply disturbing that members of Congress now want Mattis to testify about its contents.  Certainly it made Mr. Obstructionist, Mitch McConnell, blink — but I’m sure McConnell will have forgotten all about it by the time holiday recess is over.  Too much other havoc to wreak, I guess; McConnell is a political terrorist, after all.  He has his work to do.

So there you have it — my theory on what prompted Trump into this new and heightened display of stupidity.

To distract from it all he’s shut down a portion of the U.S. government, allegedly over his long-lost wall that Mexico was going to pay for, but now we’re supposed to.  A grifter even extracted several million dollars from Trump’s cult to build this wall before someone else realized out loud that private donations to the government can only be made to a general fund — meaning that it’s highly unlikely the money would be used to build a wall, and the donors would have no say in the matter.   Insert that old saw about a fool and his money here.*

And so the U.S. limps on, somehow unable to get rid of this parasite.  It’s now said that Russian interference in the 2016 election — their promotion of Jill Stein and Bernie Sanders — is what cost Hillary Clinton enough votes in swing states to win the Electoral College, even though she won the popular vote.  I have doubts about that; this seems like yet another media smokescreen designed to make us somehow forget that the Russians actually changed votes.  I say that because Trump’s margin of victory was equally tiny and unlikely in each state that was involved.  It’s charming that some in the media still want to protect us from “shock,” but vote-stealing seems to be a fact here, not a myth to be shoved off into the wilds of conspiracy theory.  (Keep in mind that the same entities have tried to tell us that the Russians accessed actual voting machines, but just snooped around and didn’t do anything.  Right.)

But I digress.  I do that a lot these days.  There is, after all, no one clear line in this saga.  However, to me, the connection between Kushner, Khashoggi, Syria and the axis is all too clear.  I hope I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am.

* P.S. I’m informed that the fraudulent GoFundMe campaign to fund Trump’s wall continues.  Since they won’t be able to give the money directly to any wall-funding account, I’m guessing one of three things will happen:
(1) they’ll be forced to give everyone refunds.  However, many people will never see their money again, or
(2) they’ll give the money to Trump’s campaign fund, where it will promptly disappear forever, or
(3) the grifter who started the whole thing will try to pocket all the money or else will try to extract an extra-large administrative fee.

** P.P.S. The Australians and several allied forces in Europe are still in Syria and will remain there.  This represents a miscalculation on Putin’s part; he seems to have assumed that once the U.S. was gone, the region will have been left without protection from ISIS.  Seems he forgot about everyone else.


So, what do you expect?

I think I said, perhaps longer than a year ago, that Trump was finished and we didn’t have a president anymore.  I still stand by that, now more than ever — but I do feel I was premature in a number of ways as he still did serve for a long time as a figurehead and a shield behind which people like Ryan, McConnell, and Putin could do whatever they wanted (or rather, Ryan and McConnell did and Putin thought he could).  Now, however, it is the simple truth: he’s finished.

I was watching the speculation on Twitter during the recent summit, and some of it was remarkably haywire — such as several people hijacking a thread to take guesses about whether Trump would defect to Russia.  Uh, people…

Even though I don’t believe for a minute that Putin and Trump are having an open-to-the-public schoolyard catfight (I do believe that all those cutsie pictures, and Russian media’s subsequent childish swipes at Trump and the U.S. , were and are mostly for the purpose of propaganda), I also don’t believe that Trump will find sanctuary in Russia.  In fact he may find death there, and he knows it.  After all, he failed to lift the sanctions against Russia, which was the entire point of this whole dizzy affair from the beginning.

As I’ve said before, Putin has little concept of what he’s dealing with in the U.S.  He probably continues to believe that Trump is as all-powerful as he himself is and that Trump is merely failing at his task because he’s…well, list the insults narcissists use here.  Yes, he is finished with Trump — but all this scowling at Trump and glad-handling Mister Bone Saw (while Trump looked on forlornly) were just for public show, fodder for the gullible and lazy media.  The real show is going on behind the scenes and is for now secret.

Russia’s only interest now is trying to appear innocent, at which they will be as lucky as Mister Bone Saw has been in distancing himself from the murder of Khashoggi.  In the end, they will fail.  Will they face consequences?  I believe they will, if only in increased sanctions and international isolation…until they rid themselves of Putin.  Putin will ultimately end up being the price Russia pays for putting up with Putin for so long.

Okay, so will Trump defect to Saudi Arabia?  That’s still a possibility, but I don’t think so.  I have no doubt that behind the scenes, an offer has been made.  But Saudi Arabia is in almost as fragile an international position as Russia.  They just don’t hold the bullying power they did when they caused an oil crisis in the 1970’s.  The world is moving on from oil, fast.  And once we achieve that goal, Saudi Arabia and Russia are finished — and they both know it.  Hence “Trump’s policies” against solar and wind energy, the environment, etc.  In fact, the day after I first published this, Trump announced a plan to end subsidies for electric cars and alternative energy.

Anyway, another thing I keep seeing on Twitter that amuses me is people continuing to whine “Pence is worse!”  I believe I’ve already addressed that in this blog, so I won’t further.  I’d just like one clear answer from these people, though: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO DO, KEEP TRUMP?  (I really continue to believe that most of these whiners are bots, btw.)

And then in the next sentence they start listing all the terrible things Trump wants to do to the U.S.  People…it’s over.  It’s over.  He can’t.  The only person left with any power — and most of that, he’s usurped — is Mitch McConnell, and there are increasing rumblings about the Senate turning on him, along with a growing concentration on McConnell’s own considerable shadiness.  He is not invincible, and once he’s gone, the game is up.  And he will be gone.

Okay, so what can we expect?  A Trumpian explosion of alphabet soup on Twitter, for one thing.  Attempts to start “scandals” like the one where Trump said Obama was spying on him.  Blaming Obama.  Blaming Hillary.  Threats.  Whining.  Obstruction of justice.  Witness tampering.  Stuff like that.

And that’s all.

We are not helpless and we are not in any more danger than we already have been.  No one’s going to start a shooting WWIII (we already are, however, in another cold war).  No one’s even going to start a civil war.  That is to say, don’t let the Chicken-Little squad scare you, because that’s what they want to do.  Keep looking forward to a future without Trump and the Republicans and the Russians, kiddos, because it’s there.  Chin up.


And P.S. — don’t fall for any news stories about divisions or “weakness” among the Democrats, dears.  Those are coming from the Russians.

Way to go, Illinois

Here in Illinois, I know a lot of Dems (and probably more than a few Republicans) held their noses as they voted for J.B. Pritzker.  But consider this:

(1) He’s unlikely to hold up the state budget for 2 years and rack up billions of dollars in late-payment fees, trashing the state’s credit rating, while he throws a hissy fit about “financial responsibility.”

(2) He’s unlikely to spend 4 years and his entire re-election campaign blaming Mike Madigan (Speaker, IL House of Reps) for everything that goes wrong — and really, EVERYTHING went wrong for Rauner, including holding up the state budget for 2 years while he threw a hissy fit about “financial responsibility.”

(3) He’s REALLY unlikely to take 2 or 3 classes of Catholic school kids to the Vatican on the taxpayers’ dime (while holding up the state budget for 2 years while he throws a hissy fit about “financial responsibility”).

(4) He won’t, really won’t, try to reduce teachers’ pay to minimum wage and bust their union while holding up the state budget for 2 years while he throws a hissy fit about “financial responsibility.”

(5) If he is shocked by how differently a state is run than a business, Pritzker will keep it to himself — unlike Rauner, who whined very early in his term, “who knew that running a state and running a business were so different?”  This was while he was blaming Madigan for everything and was about to hold up the state budget for 2 years while he threw a hissy fit about “financial responsibility.”

All of the above are things Rauner actually did.  In the end, he beat himself with a big assist from an old-style machine Democrat (Pritzker), who after all had similar qualifications to Rauner.  Both are billionaire businessmen, so there goes Rauner’s claim to fame right there.  His only hope after Pritzker was nominated was to smear him with Blagojevich (see below); he had to know that even the nascent Republican vote-stealing machine in IL would be out of order this election after such an overwhelming display of ineptitude on his part.

I’ll add that Pritzker was not my first choice, either. Another friggin’ billionaire? Sheesh. But at least it took away Rauner’s claim about running the government like a successful businessman instead of a grifting politician.

Like I said, Pritzker’s also tainted by Blagojevich — which was the only dirt Rauner could come up with once the “successful businessman” angle was taken away. That and some voter intimidation and fraud by the Republicans cost Quinn the governor’s seat 4 years ago. But it didn’t work this time, thank God, and I think Pritzker had enough of a scare that he won’t again be pulling shit like the attempted deal with Blagojevich (who is still in prison).

All in all, even though we had to hold our noses to vote for Pritzker, he’s probably the only Dem who could have won as easily as he did, even with the Blagojevich stain. And again, even though the national media tried to portray this race as “close,” it never was. Rauner was gone the moment Pritzker won the primary and he knew it; that would not have been necessarily true with anyone else — even given Rauner’s fantastic gift for trashing himself.

Plus we got rid of the Russia twins Roskam and Hultgren in the U.S. House, hallelujah.

Not a bad night here in Illinois.

An Interview with Trump*

*I made shit up**
**The sad part is that I didn’t have to make a lot of this shit up

Me: This office is all gold like pee-pee…jeez, why did I say that?

Trump:  There was no pee-pee!  I don’t like pee-pee!  I just shit all the time!

Kelly: (sinks into a chair in the corner; drops his head into his hands and groans softly)

Me:  So how’s your wall going?

Trump:  It’s the most beautiful wall I’ve ever seen.  Really.  The best in the whole history of the world.

Me: So it exists? (Trump nods) Who paid for it?  They should get their money back because people are still getting over the border, right?

Trump:  Mexico.  (I shake my head)  They’ll pay.  They keep sending rapists and murderers, so I had to do something.

Me:  Rapists and murderers?  Just like the Republican party?

Trump: (looks startled, then stares blankly at something over my shoulder)

Me:  Have you returned the kids to their parents yet?

Trump: I have the best brain.  (points at his head)  No toadstools!  It’s the bigliest!

Me: What?  (silence; sensing this is getting nowhere, I change the subject)  So what’s all this business with Russia?

Trump: Putin’s a nice guy! He told me I was great. I barely know him. I met him once. Russia is our great friend. He was the coffee boy, I think.

Me: Ivanka was seen hanging out with Putin’s girlfriend…

Trump: I have the biggest brain.  (points at his head)

Me: What do you think about Manafort flipping?

Trump: Covfefe. (wags finger at my notes) Delete that.  I never said that.  Who?

Me: One of the coffee boys in your campaign?  Manafort?

Trump: He was only with the campaign a few days.  I didn’t know him.  He didn’t have anything to do with Pence.  Donald Trump wanted Christie but he hired Pence.  I fired Comey so he would stop investigating Russia.  It made the Russian ambassador happy.  No wait.  Delete that.  I didn’t say that.  Fake news!  Comey was terrible.  The FBI hated him, so I got rid of him.  I didn’t fire him because of Russia.  There was no collusion.  The FBI is terrible.  There was no collusion.  The investigation is fake.

Me: Huh?  What brought all that up?

Trump: I used to sell vodka.  It was the bestliest vodka in the…Me:  We were talking about all the coffee boys in your campaign.

Trump: There were a lot of them. I didn’t know them. I think there was a guy named Flynn.

Me: Yeah, he flipped too.

Trump: Very disloyal. I knew him for years. I never saw him before. I don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s fake news from the fake news people.  They’re failing.  I’m very rich.

Me: There have been several reports that you were never actually a billionaire.

Trump:  Fake news from losers!

Me:  There are also some reports that you weren’t actually elected President.

Trump: We investigated that!  Fake news!

Me: Yes, but you were investigating supposed “voter fraud” and you stopped the investigation when it started to look like your election was fake.

Trump: No, that’s because we couldn’t find any voter fraud because of Hillary.  Obama hid it.  Russia never did anything.  There was no collusion.  It’s all fake news.

Me: So Hillary imported a lot of fake voters so that she could lose?

Trump: (nods) I have the best words.  I went to the best schools.  (points at his head)

Me: Okay, what do you think about Cohen flipping?

Trump: Third-rate lawyer! I didn’t know him very well. Very disloyal. It’s all lies and fabrications because I’m famous.

I don’t want to answer any questions about Russia.  There was no collusion.

Me: Collusion isn’t what your administration is being investigated for, because it isn’t a crime.

Trump:  There was no collusion!  Fake news from the failing news media!  I couldn’t help it if my campaign kept meeting with Russians.  They didn’t do anything wrong!  Everybody does that!

I don’t want to answer any questions about Russia.

Me: You don’t even want to talk about Mueller?

Trump: It’s a fake investigation into fake lies.  There was no collusion.  I don’t know who he is. Maybe he was the coffee boy. I’m the president! I want my lawyer Sessions to fire him, but he won’t do it. Disloyal! Stupid southerner!  I only hire the best people!  I came here to drain the swamp!

Me: How about the chaos in your administration?

Trump: Fake news! The administration is running like a well-oiled Ford Pinto.

Me: Yeah, it’s on fire…

Trump: I hire the best people.  Look at Betsy.  Lots of money in that family.  Her brother’s great.  He had nothing to do with the Seychelles meeting.  I don’t even know about it.  Ben Carson is the best person.  He’s smart, real smart.  My EPA guy hates the environment because it’s bad for business.  Smart guy!  I like him.  It’s the best administration in history.  No other administration has done anything.  The economy is way up.  Lincoln said so.

All over the country I have yuge rallies.  YUGE!

Me: How do you think you’re helping the economy?  Ford just came out and said that your tariff war has cost them millions, and farmers are enraged over the loss of soybean sales overseas.

Trump: They’re losers!  I was over in Germany and they make great cars. But they don’t make them in America and I don’t like their boss so I put a tariff on them, just like I won’t let Puerto Rico into the union because I don’t like their mayor.  Germany is bad!  We pay too much for NATO, no fair!  And I baled the farmers out.  Did you read my book? I’m great at deals!

Me:  Her name is Merkel and she’s the Chancellor, not the boss.  Wait a minute…did you just say you talk to Lincoln?

Trump: He sits on the sofa in the Oval Office and tweaks my ear.  Really rude guy, a loser.  But I’m just as great as he is.  He said my speech was better than the Gettysburger.

Oh, by the way, they have the most beautiful chocolate cake in the world at Gettysburger.

Me: Some psychic said that’s Kennedy lounging on the sofa and one of the Roosevelts tweaking your ear, and they keep telling you to quit.  But anyway…why are you promoting a dying industry, coal, when most new jobs in energy are in renewable resources?

Trump: That’s a yuge lie. Coal is going to make America great again. They buy my hats.  We can run out of wind and sunlight and birds can die from it. I have created more jobs than any president in the history of the world.  And I never start a fight with anyone in order to affect the stock market so my friends can make money.  Fake news!

Me (shaking head): Yes you do…wait a minute…birds?  Birds can also die from flying into skyscrapers too, you know…

Trump: (shrugs) Did I show you Ivanka? I’d date her if she wasn’t my daughter…(chuckles)

Me: Huh? Um…okay…didn’t she get a bunch of Chinese trademarks for her own business after she visited there on state business?

Trump: I always think bigly. I have a great brain. I have the best words.  The Chinese love me.

Me: Uh-huh.  What’s going on with you and Justin Trudeau?

Trump: I’m the best president in the history of the world. I guess he’s jealous.  He doesn’t want to meet with me.

Me: The Canadian government says no such meeting was requested.

Trump: (fidgets) I don’t cheat at golf. That’s fake news.

(I look over at Kelly, who is looking out the window wistfully)

Me: What about Kavanaugh?

Trump: He’s a great guy. All the women are liars. They like me because I’m famous and rich. They let you grab their p…Me: So how do you think Jared is doing in bringing peace to the Middle East?

Trump: Jared’s always overseas. He doesn’t work here in Washington. We’re going to build golf courses and hotels in the Middle East and Puerto Rico. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t like CNN. Obama did it.  Crooked Hillary!

Me: Do you feel Don Jr. may be in legal trouble?

Trump: I don’t know him.  Coffee boy?

Me: How about your response to the hurricanes?

Trump: Obama screwed up, and Hillary helped him. They were both on the Russian payroll. I have a big thing coming out about this, but I can’t tell you now. Lock her up!

Me: I thought you said Russia was our friend?  So why is it bad if they were on the Russian payroll?

Trump: My book sold more than Bob Woody’s book. It was all lies.

Me: When will you tell us about what Obama and Hillary did?

Trump: In a few months. When I think about it.  It’s all top secret.  I haven’t told Russia yet.

Me: Is this like your big secret to putting an end to Isis?

Trump: You know anything about Isis? I don’t. I never said that. I never said that.  There are good people on both sides.

Me: That’s what you said about Charlottesville.

Trump: (stares blankly)

Me: What is your concept of the role of the President?

Trump: I’m doing a great job. The greatest in history. No one’s laughing at me like they laughed at Obama. No one laughs at me. I’m more of a war hero than McCain.  I went to a military academy.  I’m running the government like a business. No one laughs at me. I was making a joke. They didn’t laugh. Someone put a noise on the soundtrack. It was fake news. No one laughs at me.

Me: And again, what about all this Russia and mob stuff?

Trump: (to Kelly) Kelly, tell her she’s fired.  (walks out of the room muttering “no collusion”)

Kelly: You can’t fire her, she doesn’t work for you Mr. Pre… he’s gone. (sighs) You can’t do anything with him.

(sound of ghostly chuckling coming from the couch)